where is home?

walk with karolina.

recently, i got this question:

“i think it would be interesting to hear your thoughts on what ‘home’ means—i know you’ve already written a little bit about it, but maybe it’s worth its own post? since you’ve lived in so many different places and maybe don’t associate ‘home’ with a particular place but rather a feeling?

—and of course! i’m always happy to answer your q’s. here are my thoughts on “home”:

walk with karolina.

as you all probably know, i grew up in stockholm. during a few years when i was around 19-22-ish, i lived and studied in västerås, a city about an hour away from stockholm. one of those years, i also spent in the south of france. i’ve also bounced back and forth to norway from sweden a lot, before finally moving to the u.s. in january of 2014. this is what i feel about my top places:

birthday.

stockholm. clearly, i’ve spent the majority of my life in sweden. stockholm will always be a home for me—although it’s not a 100% given feeling. i’ve moved around and lived in many different places in stockolm, and since my parents have been divorced basically my whole life, i grew up in two different parts of town, while my school was in a third part of the city; so i don’t have a strong loyalty to only one part of the city.

there is something about sweden that i don’t feel for though—a coldness in the culture sometimes (and winter). i do know stockholm like the back of my hand though, and that is a nice feeling to have.

one photo every hour. july.

oslo. this place definitely doesn’t feel like a home to me in the sense that i know i’ll always be a guest there. but! what’s so nice about being in oslo is that it’s so culturally similar to stockholm, it’s a small city that you learn to navigate quickly, norwegian is easy to learn, and most of all—people really like you. you really feel wanted and appreciated there, and that’s a warm feeling i will always reciprocate for oslo.

presidio & ggb.

san francisco. sf! my love. this is definitely where HOME is for me now (did you guess it?). although i have more history with stockholm, there is no place more than san francisco where i both 1) know it so well that i could draw a map of the city and write out all the street names in my sleep, but at the same time 2) feel euphoric about every single day that i get to live here. literally every day, i walk out on the streets and without exception, i’m thankful, and i try to conserve the feeling, because maybe it’s gonna go away some time, and if that day comes it’s gonna be a really damn sad one.

in the u.s., everyone can be american, because everyone is from somewhere else either way. you can be anything or anyone (and this applies to both sf and new york). oh how i love these two cities (if you’re wondering, leaving new york in january was a really really tough decision. i definitely miss that place every day).

sunday in brooklyn.

i hope that clears it up a little bit, and that it wasn’t too long. just let me know if you guys have any more questions. i love to hear your reflections and what’s going on in your heads as well, besides just my own.

and have a lovely thursday, wherever you are in the world. <3

 

mao

fick en fråga om var jag känner mig hemma eller hur jag tänker om vad som menas med “hemma” egentligen. så här är lite tankar om det.

stockholm har jag ju spenderat mest tid i (20+ år liksom), så det kommer alltid vara hemma. i oslo känner jag mig iofs alltid som gäst, men ändå som en alltid supervälkommen en! alla är så snälla där och det är så lätt att anpassa sig där liksom. men mest av allt känner jag mig hemma här i sf. inte bara för att jag lärt mig kanske varenda vrå av den här staden under de senaste åren, men också för att jag bara älskar den här platsen. varje dag är jag tacksam för att jag får bo här, för jag vet att det inte är en självklarhet, och att det är något som kan komma att tas ifrån mig. även new york känns lite så! saknar det varje dag alltså.

men ändå alltså. så fint att få göra några platser till sina. är verkligen djupt tacksam över mina olika hem runtom i världen. <3

self(ie) love.

because the rain never stops! because self-love. because selfies are important and because sometimes i can be cute too. i don’t take selfies THAT often but let’s look at a few lately. here’s my face 11 times in a row if you can take it. if not i’ll see u tomorrow or something

1

from a friday at work back in new york. bathroom selfie and i was about to go out into a lovely weekend.

2

a snowy new york weekend! gah. i stubbornly wore my leather jacket even though it was cold, but had my long gudrun sjödén scarf to wrap around me, so it was ok.

3

another nyc selfie from when my eyeliner was FIRE.

4

christmas in white lace, matte black nails and choker.

5

one of my last new york selfies with new top, glossy hair curtain and big eyes.

6

back on the west coast! here i am in front of apple down in cupertino in a new navy american apparel outfit.

7

the first weekend i was back, there was the women’s march at civic center. it was cold and rainy and i felt totally fucked up by anibiotics, but me and siri showed up because important. <3

8

calling this one “girl without eyebrows” or something? i’ve been meaning to buy glossier’s boy brow for a while now but i never get around to do it! ok soon, i promise.

9

selfie from an uber when the rain was also poooouring down, hence rainy wavy hair.

10

this one is from the kitchen at my new place, where apparently the light can look like this sometimes and really bring forth the color of my eyes. who would’ve thought.

11

and this last one, from this past weekend when i was lying in bed watching love actually with myself.

 

that’s all for today! sorry not sorry for this pretty uninformative post, but this is my space and sometimes i need to remind myself that i’m good and that selfies are too. that’s all. xx

 

mao

idag vart det selfiekaskad på bloggen! här e mitt ansikte elva gånger helt enkelt. några från new york och några från sf. cute man e ändå. kom ihåg det allihopa när ni tar seflies. NI E CUTE

moma masterpieces.

before i left new york, i went to the moma and took you guys with me through one photo every hour, but i didn’t really show you any artworks. i took pictures of some of them though, and thought i’d shar a few of them today. hopefully you like modern art as much as i do, and if not—come back tomorrow instead : )

i must say, though—i preferred sf moma to the new york one?? they’ve remodeled it for 3ish years though, so it’s awesome now. make sure to visit it if you’re in the neighborhood.
however, here are some gems from moma in new york:

moma.

i started from the top floor, and slowly worked my way down. ii’m not 100% sure (sorry!), but i think this one is from the painter francis picabia.

moma.

picabia was new to me, but i really LOVED some of his stuff—like this one. it reminded me a little bit of braque, but less cubist-like. the colors are so harmonious here, i think.

moma.

another one *being dj khaled*

moma.

more from picabia! as you can probably see, he reeeeaaaally changes direction in his way of painting. i’ve probably never seen a painter this diverse in their genres.

moma.

this series of picabia’s painting was probably the ones that spoke the most to me. i like the weird and a little creepy juxtaposition between the realistic portrait underneath the stylized face on top.

moma.

he also used some kind of technique on purpose to have some of the paint corrode (??? sorry definitely not using the correct vocabulary here), which makes the canvas turn out like this. VERY COOL.

moma.

this was the name of the francis picabia exhibition, by the way. i loved this quote, cause it’s so beautiful. but also makes so much sense, considering his wide range of genres.

moma.

moma has a helicopter hanging from the ceiling! not sure who or what it’s supposed to be, but i like it.

moma.

you all know this one, of course.

moma.

and maybe you’ve seen this as well? it’s by the pop artist jasper johns called flag.

moma.

i really like how you can see the textures on a canvas like this. it makes it so real, and i love coming close and studying it (until a guard says “STEP BACK PLEASE”) *rolleyes*

moma.

classic! dalí’s famous the persistence of memory hangs right here in moma new york. i’m not super into dalí, but his technique is mesmerizing nonetheless.

moma.

and also composition with red, yellow, and blue by piet mondrian. also not one of my top artists, but very iconic for its time.

moma.

this painter, faith ringgold, was new to me, but this painting named die really struck me. if you’re familiar with picasso’s guernica, this one feels very much like it—but instead of the spanish civil war, this one depicts the race war.

moma.

and, of course—my four babes (captured by richard avedon) were there waiting for me. <33

moma.

that’s all, folks! thank you moma. and also a big thank you and shoutout to my art teacher craig during my first semester at my master’s, who taught me so much about modern art with such an inspiring passion. never have i been so excited to remember so many names and years. ★ ART IS COOL ★

 

mao

jag var på moma ett tag sedan när jag fortfarande var kvar i new york! älskar ju modern konst, men måste ändå erkänna att san franciscos moma är snäppet bättre (fast de har precis lagt tre år på att renovera det, så det är väl därför).
här är några konstverk jag gillade eller tyckte var intressanta. ni känner säkert igen ett gäng. konst alltså! ändå fett.

my last day in new york.

if you’re following me on instagram, you’ve probably seen where i am by now, but before we jump to that too quickly, i want to show you my last day in new york (and THEN i’ll tell you more about what i’m up to next!).

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i spent my whooooole last day with robert. he was so nice and decided we’d do only nice things. we started at beautiful café henrie for brunch where everything is pink and pastel. robert had a waffle with bacon and i had yoghurt baked eggs with za’atar toast (literally the strangest thing i could find on the menu, but it was good!).

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here’s a neon sign they have at café henrie. do you love it? i thought so.

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we wanted to go to the new museum after brunch, but the line wrapped around the block (LITERALLY). so instead, we just roamed around nolita in the january sun instead, which was lovely too. we passed by this instagram wall.

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and walked into every single store we thought looked cute.

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new york though!! <3 this nomad life omg, always torn between places. new york is a splendid fucking city though. never 4get

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towards the end of the night we met up with paul, who (just like me and robert) moved to new york from san francisco, and we had goodbye beers on lower east side.

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me and robert had dinner and drinks, and suddenly it was the morning after—and time to go to the airport for me.

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not gonna get all emotional (at least not here and now), but it’s always SO HARD LEAVING places you’ve grown to love. especially when they’re as beautiful as a brooklyn in the january morning backlight.

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and then, yep, off to new adventures. <3

 

mao

min sista dag i new york. spenderade den med min finaste new york-vän robert. han lät mig göra prick vad jag ville så vi gick på brunch på gulliga café henrie, kollade precis alla fina butiker i nolita, drack öl med paul och åt pad thai innan dagen blev nästa dag och jag skulle hoppas på ett plan med alla mina väskor mot nya äventyr. vad det blev ska jag ju berätta mer om såklart. assnart!

from my disposable camera (and new things soon).

hey guys, sorry for going mute on you for a few days. i was in the middle of packing my new york life together …. BUT MORE ON THAT SOON. i’m very excited to share with you my next chapter, but first—let’s look at the other half of my disposable camera (first half here).

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one day, me and robert walked around in greenpoint in brooklyn and checked out stores and hung out by the water.

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a plane drew this heart. <3

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and then in november i flew to toronto. cn tower was swimming in fog when i arrived.

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this is kensington market, the little vintage village in toronto filled with thrift stores.

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in mid-december, i said goodbye to the ad agency i interned at, and me and my intern friends had dinner at eataly.

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me and jens! we were besties back in sf but haven’t hung out that much since we both moved to new york. we managed to meet a few times though. at h&m for example.

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christmas came, and siri flew over from san francisco to visit me.

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we ate all of the food in new york and did both local and touristy stuff—like taking pics at times square.

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2016 ended, and i spent my new years eve with my new york bestie robert! <3 we went for dinner and drinks in west village.

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and then continued the party in williamsburg until it was 2017 and my disposable camera was done!

 

mao

del två av bilderna från min engångskamera som jag fotat med denna höst och vinter. del ett hittar ni [här].

une photo chaque heure. janvier.

it was a long time ago that i last took you with me on a day through hourly photos. but on monday i did it, so here it is:

7 a.m.

one photo every hour.

now that i’m not working, i usually wake up late, but on monday i woke up seven something, and this was that it looked like outside my window.

8 a.m.

one photo every hour.

i stayed in bed and watched (half) and episode of the new sherlock season! v happy it’s back.

9 a.m.

one photo every hour.

i actually don’t watch the whole episode (it’s 1.5 hours!), but went back to sleep for a little. when i woke up again, i had breakfast in bed. greek yoghurt with honey and walnuts. in a plastic dish because i’m glamorous like that.

10 a.m.

one photo every hour.

i get dressed. green ribbed marc jacobs top and black jeans.

11 a.m.

one photo every hour.

my plan today was to go to moma! i had only been to the san francisco one, but never here. so it was about time! this is how pretty the walk is from me up to moma, which was about 15 blocks north.

12 p.m.

one photo every hour.

i walk around and enjoy the loveliness of modern art. yummm. i don’t remember the artist behind this piece, but doesn’t it give you that lovely headache only op art can? hehe.
i took a bunch of pics, maybe i’ll do a separate post with some moma art?

1 p.m.

one photo every hour.

it’s lunch time, so i grab food moma’s own restaurant. i have salmon with fresh potato. a little overpriced as expected, but also really good.

2 p.m.

one photo every hour.

i’m already finished! pretty surprised how fast it went to go through the museum tbh (the one in sf took, what, 4+ hours?). and to be completely honest …. i like sf moma a tiny bit more. then again, they’ve just spent 3 years on remodeling it, so maybe it’s not that strange. well, i liked both!
however, i walk down 5th ave—here’s rockefeller center with that strong dude outside.

3 p.m.

one photo every hour.

i need a new eyeliner, so i pop into sephora to get one. it took me (and the guy helping me) forever to find the right one! i wanted a liquid one, but still with a felt tip (not brush!). important important.

4 p.m.

one photo every hour.

i’m back home, and i lie in bed and read hanya yanagihara’s a little life. it’s so so sad. i guess i’ll tell you about it when i’m through.

5 p.m.

one photo every hour.

facebooking. feels totally ok in a non-guilty way to lie in bed and just scroll through facebook after spending a few hours at the museum, honestly.

6 p.m.

one photo every hour.

at 6, i watch skam, like every other swedish person out there right now, right??? heh. for you non-swedish speakers, it’s literally the most hyped tv show right now. a norwegian one, about high school kids and their lives. (way to sell it, vicky)

7 p.m.

one photo every hour.

i go to the gym! pow pow.

8 p.m.

one photo every hour.

and when i walked home the one block (blesss to live that close to the gym), it was this dark and pretty outside.

9 p.m.

one photo every hour.

and since i had treated myself to a fancy lunch, i had a very unglamorous dinner, with trader joe’s cauliflower soup, crackers with cheese and tomatoes.

that’s all from my monday! (can’t believe it’s friday already today btw?) have a lovely one, all of you.

 

mao

ett foto i timmen från i måndags, då jag gick på moma och kollade på konst (kan visa mer än denna ensa tavla i ett separat inlägg kanske?), hängde i sängen och läste och kollade skam och tränade. helt ok ledig dag!

from my disposable camera.

this fall and winter, i’ve been shooting a little bit on a disposable camera. hadn’t done this in years, so it was definitely long overdue.

let’s have a look on some of the photos i managed to capture, shan’t we?

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the beginning of the film starts in los angeles, when me, siri, sandra and the rest of this party gang were there for the festival stockholm, CA.

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siri, me, gustav and sandra (plus a photobomber) at veronica maggio’s concert.

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i flew from new york to los angeles for like 30h, but it was worth it. <3

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who could this have been? hmmm. little dragen? elliphant maybe? not quite sure : ) (here‘s by the way the post on that day. i’ve linked it 100 times before, but i guess i just did it again)

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back in new york! on halloween. i celebrated with robert and his last-minute outfit was a $3 eyeliner that made him a bandit.

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jay came too—and didn’t have a costume either, so we made him a skeleton with the same $3 eyeliner.

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i was dressed in black in my vampire shirt.

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and we hung out at a rooftop in bed-stuy, at the probably weirdest party in the city at that moment.

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there was a super old contortionist, dead animals on the wall, and everything was twin peak-themed and bathing in red lighting. here‘s the post to that strange strange night.

 

mao

jag har framkallat min engångskamera som jag har fotat lite med under hösten! här är ett gäng bilder, från till exempel när jag var i los angeles på svensk festival och från halloween när jag, robert och jay var på fabrikslokalfest i bed-stuy med twin peaks-tema där allt bara var superkonstigt, badade i rött ljus och mystisk musik och vi hängde på taket.

så fint med engångs! har inte gjort det på 4 ever.

five pictures from my new year’s eve.

happy first wednesday of this year! i wanted to show you my NYE, but i was too busy having fun and didn’t take that many photos. here’s five to summarize my night at least:

new year's 16/17.

as you probably saw in a previous post and/or on instagram, i wore a black lace top from forever21 (i’m sorry, world, promise to try to shop less at crap places like these in 2017). black skirt and my vintage boots on the bottom half.

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i spent the evening with robert! my favorite new york person. so happy he’s here, i would’ve been so lonely here otherwise with so few friends, heh.

new year's 16/17.

for our new year’s dinner, we went to buvette in west village (forever thanking sandra’s new york guide for all the gems in this city). we had lobster pot pie, tartiflette (that had meat in it!!! gosh such a fail), and other stuff. it was very cute and good everything.

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after grabbing a drink at otto’s shrunken head in alphabet city, we took the subway to williamsburg and spent the rest of the night there, in the apartment robert used to live in, wth his old roomies and these two gems! mikus and trixie.

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and the year ended with me winning at cards against humanity, that the others let me play a graveyard playlist with the volume turned up properly, and white kitten soft belly rubs. amazingly, in other words.

how was your new year’s eve?? i hope lovely, too. and if not, it doesn’t matter anyways. it’s already gone. <3

 

mao

mitt nyår såg ut såhär om man sammanfattar i fem bilder. jag hade svart spets på mig och hängde med robert. vi började kvällen med middag på buvette i west village och tog sedan en drink i alphabet city innan vi drog över till williamsburg där vi spenderade resten av kvällen i roberts gamla kollektiv och förra rommies (samt två katter!!). vi spelade cards against humanity, jag fick dra upp graveyard på högsta och klappa mjuk kattungemage. så bra slut på året ändå.

hur var eran nyår?? fin, hoppas jag. och om inte, så är den redan förbi ändå. puss.

a blue whale hanging from the ceiling.

the 27th of december was the last full day that siri was here in new york, and it was also her birthday!

siri's birthday.

so we only did what she wanted to do, of course. like going to the museum of natural history. this pretty place! i had been here 3,5 years ago, but had totally forgotten about how ginormous this place was.

siri's birthday.

speaking of ginormous, ehe. here’s a mosquito. :(((((

siri's birthday.

if you’re going here, make sure to have lots of time on your hands. it’s really so huge, and we spent hours here, even though we only chose to see some of the exhibitions.

siri's birthday.

like the ocean life one, of course, with the huge blue whale hanging from the ceiling. so amazing <3

siri's birthday.

we also said hi to this manatee.

siri's birthday.

and this adorable baby seal! and after checking out some meteorites that were millions of years old, we started getting hungry. time to go for birthday dinner.

siri's birthday.

happy birthday, siri!

siri's birthday.

we took the bus straight down from upper west side to hell’s kitchen, where five napkins burgers is located.

siri's birthday.

we got a table in just a little while, and although the place was pretty full, it was a good vibe in there. i really liked the subway tiles and the christmassy ornaments.

siri's birthday.

we ordered their signature burger (YUM) plus brussel sprouts, fries, and pickles on the side. so gooood but gosh were we full afterwards.

siri's birthday.

to topp off siri’s birthday and last full new york day properly, we first went to get her her birthday gift from me—a gel manicure—at a nail salon nearby, and then went over to lower east side for a drink.

siri's birthday.

schiller’s is both hip and cozy at once, and has lovely cocktails—so we ordered one each, and just sat down, chatted, and relaxed after a whole day walking.

siri's birthday.

and after a while, when our fullness from dinner had passed, we ordered dessert too. very adequate for a birthday in new york city, right?

and the morning after, i waved goodbye to siri after a few days of indulgence of everything. food, bestie talks, and this lovely lovely city. <3

 

mao

siris sista hela dag i new york var också hennes födelsedag! så vi gjorde bara roliga saker såklart. gick på museum of natural history, till att börja med! jag var där sist för tre år sedan men hade glömt hur enormt det är där! wow alltså.

när vi blev hungriga sen tog vi bussen ner till hell’s kitchen och käkade maffig burgarmiddag. sedan var det dags för min present till henne, en gelmanikyr, så vi satte oss på en salong i närheten och ordnade det innan vi drog till schiller’s på lower east side för att avsluta kvällen med drinkar och dessert. så fin sista dag med siri.

a little check-in from me.

hey, friends.

here’s a little mini update from me. i know many of you are back at work after the holidays, but i’m still just chilling out in bed this week. since new year’s, i’ve mostly spent my time working out plus eating in bed. a good balance, right?

i’m reading hanya yanagihara’s a little life and i’ve started watching breaking bad (last one to the party, i know), and today i’m planning on turning in my disposable camera to develop it.

by the way, since i posted my 9 most liked instagram pictures, i posted one on new year’s eve that was a hit and that would be at like #5, if i would’ve checked now:

selfie.

saying goodbye to 2016 with resting bitch face, wings on fleek and hair flip over the shoulder. bye u piece of shit year see u never 👋🏼💅🏼 “
i’m glad you liked it despite (or because of?) my sassy caption.

other than that, i don’t have much that i can tell you about just yet. as you might know, i ended my internship at an ad agency here in nyc around 2 weeks ago, and now i’m figuring everything out for my next step. it’s starting to crystallize, but i can’t tell you quite yet. it’ll happen soon though, and i’ll promise to keep you in the loop.

hope you’re having a lovely week. xx

 

mao

helloj, här kommer en miniuppdatering från mig! sedan nyår har jag mest spenderat dagarna med att träna samt ligga och äta i sängen. har börjat läsa a little life samt börjat sträckkolla breaking bad. så sen på den bollen liks.

här är förresten en bild som jag postade sista dagen på året men som visst hamnade bland mina 9 mest likeade (som jag ju bloggade om några dagar innan nyår). tack tack!

och så framtiden då. böev ju klar med min praktik här i new york för en sisådär två veckor sedan, och håller nu på att ordna mitt nästa drag. kan inte berätta nåt än, men det håller på att utkristalliseras för mig — och när det väl gjort det lovar jag att berätta för er med. puss!