where is home?

walk with karolina.

recently, i got this question:

“i think it would be interesting to hear your thoughts on what ‘home’ means—i know you’ve already written a little bit about it, but maybe it’s worth its own post? since you’ve lived in so many different places and maybe don’t associate ‘home’ with a particular place but rather a feeling?

—and of course! i’m always happy to answer your q’s. here are my thoughts on “home”:

walk with karolina.

as you all probably know, i grew up in stockholm. during a few years when i was around 19-22-ish, i lived and studied in västerås, a city about an hour away from stockholm. one of those years, i also spent in the south of france. i’ve also bounced back and forth to norway from sweden a lot, before finally moving to the u.s. in january of 2014. this is what i feel about my top places:

birthday.

stockholm. clearly, i’ve spent the majority of my life in sweden. stockholm will always be a home for me—although it’s not a 100% given feeling. i’ve moved around and lived in many different places in stockolm, and since my parents have been divorced basically my whole life, i grew up in two different parts of town, while my school was in a third part of the city; so i don’t have a strong loyalty to only one part of the city.

there is something about sweden that i don’t feel for though—a coldness in the culture sometimes (and winter). i do know stockholm like the back of my hand though, and that is a nice feeling to have.

one photo every hour. july.

oslo. this place definitely doesn’t feel like a home to me in the sense that i know i’ll always be a guest there. but! what’s so nice about being in oslo is that it’s so culturally similar to stockholm, it’s a small city that you learn to navigate quickly, norwegian is easy to learn, and most of all—people really like you. you really feel wanted and appreciated there, and that’s a warm feeling i will always reciprocate for oslo.

presidio & ggb.

san francisco. sf! my love. this is definitely where HOME is for me now (did you guess it?). although i have more history with stockholm, there is no place more than san francisco where i both 1) know it so well that i could draw a map of the city and write out all the street names in my sleep, but at the same time 2) feel euphoric about every single day that i get to live here. literally every day, i walk out on the streets and without exception, i’m thankful, and i try to conserve the feeling, because maybe it’s gonna go away some time, and if that day comes it’s gonna be a really damn sad one.

in the u.s., everyone can be american, because everyone is from somewhere else either way. you can be anything or anyone (and this applies to both sf and new york). oh how i love these two cities (if you’re wondering, leaving new york in january was a really really tough decision. i definitely miss that place every day).

sunday in brooklyn.

i hope that clears it up a little bit, and that it wasn’t too long. just let me know if you guys have any more questions. i love to hear your reflections and what’s going on in your heads as well, besides just my own.

and have a lovely thursday, wherever you are in the world. <3

 

mao

fick en fråga om var jag känner mig hemma eller hur jag tänker om vad som menas med “hemma” egentligen. så här är lite tankar om det.

stockholm har jag ju spenderat mest tid i (20+ år liksom), så det kommer alltid vara hemma. i oslo känner jag mig iofs alltid som gäst, men ändå som en alltid supervälkommen en! alla är så snälla där och det är så lätt att anpassa sig där liksom. men mest av allt känner jag mig hemma här i sf. inte bara för att jag lärt mig kanske varenda vrå av den här staden under de senaste åren, men också för att jag bara älskar den här platsen. varje dag är jag tacksam för att jag får bo här, för jag vet att det inte är en självklarhet, och att det är något som kan komma att tas ifrån mig. även new york känns lite så! saknar det varje dag alltså.

men ändå alltså. så fint att få göra några platser till sina. är verkligen djupt tacksam över mina olika hem runtom i världen. <3

my wish list.

it’s march 29th, which means my birthday is exactly one month away. here’s a wish list if i could pick anything right now:

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portraits. the best gift ever is getting a portrait. and you guys are so good at drawing me!! it would be dreamy to add to this beautiful collection.

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an umbrella. so, i lost my pretty marc jacobs umbrella, and to shed myself from the rain i bought a rain coat. i do want an umbrella too, though. maybe a palm tree one like this one?

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clean warm cotton. this is the perfume i wear everyday, and actually, i bought it for myself as a birthday gift one year ago. since the bottle seems to last exactly a year-ish, it’s soon time for a new one.

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one of the few murakami books i haven’t read. out of his novels it’s only ONE! a wild sheep chase (wow, didn’t even realize until i checked that i’e read all of his other ones). from his short stories anthologies it would be blind willow, sleeping woman. love haruki <3

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ace embroiderd gucci sneakers. KILL ME NOW I LOVE THESE SHOES SO MUCH

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a trip. to some nice and warm and adventurous place. now that my visa still is unsure, i think a trip within the u.s. borders would be my best bet. like new orleans, for example! ↑ it’s been on my bucket list for a long time now.

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workout clothes. i’ve worn my current sets of workout clothes for a long time and it’s been forever since i’ve treated myself to new ones. i think it’s time soon!

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a new camera. for example the canon 80d? would be nice, especially with that flippable display, which my current canon rebel t5 doesn’t have.

yep. all that, and some love and world peace would be nice? thanks in advance <3

 

mao

min födelsedag infaller om prick en månad, så det är passande med en önskelista idag tycker jag! typ detta hade varit fint att få:
porträtt, ett paraply, clean warm cotton-parfymen (min flaska börjar sakta men säkert ta slut), haruki murakamis a wild sheep chase (som är den enda av hans skönlitterära romaner jag inte läst!), de fantastiska blommiga guccisneakersen, en tripp till new orleans, fräscha träningskläder och en ny kamera. samt fred på jorden då!

(pictures via pinterest)

me and my talented friends.

heya! here’s a little bit of everything today:

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the swedish organization svenska digitala nomader made an interview with me. check it out here! it’s in swedish, but you can probably google translate it if you’re interested in knowing a little bit about me, my job, and some of the places i’ve lived and worked in.

i got a comment that i should review the glossier boy brow pomade that i wrote about in this post. i don’t have much to say than praising it! it makes my brows look a little denser and more groomed, without looking over-done. ↑ here’s a little boomerang how it looks on (cause i naturally have kind of weak eyebrows).

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remember my super lovely friends jens and axel (to the left in this picture)? they’re both designers and have recently come up with this ruler, especially designed for designers and creators who work both in the physical and digital world. their kickstarter is still running for a few more days, but they’ve already reached over 500% funding! so proud. check out the project here.

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the fantastic stina (who visited sf and hung out with me last year is in this year’s let’s dance (sweden’s version of dancing with the stars)!!! and she’s KILLING it. if you’re in sweden, you probably know it’s every friday on tv4. if you’re outside of sweden, maybe you can somehow try to access it on tv4play (not giving any advice to break the law here though). otherwise, just check out and follow her majestic instagram account.

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and another one of my friends who’s in a swedish tv show right now is anna maría (to the right in the yellow shirt)! she’s one of the three finalists in the DIY competition show superskaparna. much proud!! watch it on sjuan every tuesday or on tv4play. go anna maría!

 

mao

lite gott och blandat om mig och några av mina duktiga kompisar! en intervju med mig, jag i glossiers ögonbrynspomada, jens och axels linjal-kickstarter, stina i let’s dance och anna maría i superskaparna! asså så många bra folk i samma inlägg va.

(stinas bild via expressen.se och anna marías bild via dnilva.)

just a lil sunday brunch.

helloooo new week. here’s just four quick pics from my yesterday.

brunch with mj.

weekend brunches is like the best thing! yesterday was also a great 1 o clock brunch mode because i was a little tired from going out the night before, and also hungry from just working out.

brunch with mj.

my brunch friend for this sunday was mj! i hadn’t seen him in forever, and then i ran into him at a bar in the castro on saturday, so we “oh my goood”-ed and made brunch plans for the morning after. i looked up yelp for a place i hadn’t been to (anyone else who loves trying out new places instead of just going to one same spot all the time?). chose this one in the mission—hog & rocks.

brunch with mj.

i had a breakfast sandwich with homefries and a bloody mary, and mj did a scramble with homefries and a mimosa. so brunchy, right? (also sorry for the awkward lighting here)

brunch with mj.

and afterwards, we got so full and needed to walk it off, and went to the east side of the mission towards potrero hill to this pretty place, sightglass. sat down with a latte for a while before heading out and hugged each other goodbye. and then i laid down in bed and basically didn’t leave it for the rest of the day.

hope you had a great weekend filled with great food yeah?? HAPPY MONDAY EITHER WAY. <3

 

mao

i lördags sprang jag in i mj när jag var ute i castro och dansade med siri, så vi gjorde brunchplaner till morgonen efter, så igår möttes vi upp på hog & rocks i mission och käkade massa gott och babblade ikapp om livet sedan vi sågs sist. jag älskar fan att bruncha!

new dreamy sneakers.

nike air max thea ultra si.

happy nike air max day! yep that’s today. i’m of course celebrating with new sneakers.

nike air max thea ultra si.

these babies! air max thea ultra si. <3

nike air max thea ultra si.

in the oatmeal color. i usually buy white sneaks, but i really like this color. feels like a good addition to my wardrobe.

nike air max thea ultra si.

my favorite detail on these shoes are the thick, rope-style laces. so pretty!!

nike air max thea ultra si.

and the seams are embroidered thick and shiny. looking forward to taking these babies on san francisco adventures. let this spring be dry and warm!

 

mao

glad nike air max day! japp, det är en riktig dag och den infaller idag. jag firar på detta vis såklart, med nya air max thea ultra si i fina havrefärgen, med de finaste repskosnörena och tjocka blanka sömmar. e så pepp på att ta ut dem på torra sf-gator denna vår.

sweden deluxe.

i haven’t been back in sweden for almost 1.5 years. i don’t usually miss it that much either, but sometimes, every now and then, i would love to just be able to dive into all that is swedishness for a little while. this is what sweden is most like in my mind (get ready for a cavalcade of pictures):

djurgården.

katrin's graduation.

coffee time.

toffe & jakob in sthlm.

södermalm.

hello stockholm.

coffee time.

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with ryoko in stockholm.

slottsskogen.

girls' hangout.

djurgården.

bbq party.

slussen swans.

summer stockholm.

vintageparty.

swedish summer.

#blogg100.

swedish summer.

the butterfly house.

wilda's birthday.

elin's birthday.

hornstulls strand.

 

mao

det som känns som mest sverige inuti mig just nu.

throwback thursday: a july evening in 2011.

summer stockholm.

for this throwback, i went to my flickr gallery (that at the moment of me writing this post has 13,291 photos) and picked a random photo to write down some throwback thoughts for.

this photo is from july 2011. it was a summer in stockholm just like summers in stockholm usually are—light, bright and warm. me and my then-bestie who i used to hang out with every single day, katrin, were buzzing around södermalm. somehow, for some reason, maye a phone call or a text from someone, a friend, a friend’s friend, made us end up here.

from the green, fresh, blooming street, we dived down a flight of stairs and found ourselves in a bunker made into an atelier of some sorts. it was like stepping right into the seventies, and there was artwork along the walls, fabrics hanging over lamps, music, blacklights and beer cans all over the place.

the space branched out in several different rooms, and there were some small wooden stairs up to tiny lofts. we climbed up one of them and found ourselves on a little mezzanine, decorated with old books, taxidermy animals, a fox fur with the whole head intact.

we pretended the world outside didn’t exist for a moment. then again, we were twenty years old in a summer that we could make feel eternal, we were maybe invincible, and maybe the world above that bunker staircase didn’t exist after all, maybe the light july night was something else, somewhere else right then, right at that moment.

 

mao

en throwback thursday till en bild jag plockade på måfå från min flickr—denna från en julidag 2011 när jag hamnade i en ateljé under marken som kändes som ett sjuttiotal eller ett annat land, en annan tid och den förevigt odödliga känslan som en tjugoårig stockholmssommar kan sätta fyr på i kroppen.

get out (and why you MUST see this movie).

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(don’t worry, this post doesn’t contain any spoilers)

the other day i saw get out. if you haven’t heard about it yet (although that would kind of surprise me), it’s a thriller-y kind of horror (meh, more like, horror-ish) from writer and director jordan peele (do you know key and peele? yep, that’s him).
the horror theme in this movie though, isn’t monsters, murderers or supernatural forces. it’s white people and racism. AND YOU NEED TO SEE IT.

this movie had me laughing, crying, gasping and screaming. the whole damn spectrum. and apart from that—it had me thinking about it for days. i’m still unpacking it now, several days later, and it has shivers running down my spine. i’m tearing up on my commute when i recall some of the scenes, and i still find myself thinking about all the layers of this movie.

it’s unlike anything i’ve ever seen. it’s so weirdly unique in its expression, while bringing up one of the most important issues (for me personally, maybe even the #1 most important issue). racism isn’t depicted as it usually is in hollywood productions, with throwbacks to the 1800s and to slavery. it doesn’t show the story we’re already so conscious of—the one about wars, white supremacy depicted with violence and physical harm. this story tells us something much scarier—how racism is highly alive, today, right here, in all of our lives, and how it is perpetuated by the ones who claim to be the exact opposites of racists. the ones who pat themselves on the shoulder and boast about how much they loooove obama, but at the same time point out the skin color of black people every time they interact. “but not in a bad way, of course”, just casually mentioning steph curry….because, you know, they’re probably into basketball yeah?

i’m not gonna go into the plot, but i just needed to get this message out (no pun intended). SEE IT. if you’re pretty aware of racism and white structures in society, you’ll RAVE about the genius of the movie. and if you’re not, it’s probably a fantastic way to get more educated on the matter.

thank me later!! you’re welcome.

 

mao
glöm ej att se get out när den kommer ut i sverige (?). briljantaste filmen jag sett, kanske nånsin. wow. wow. wow.
(bild via min pinterest).

beautiful things that are easy to forget.

the butterfly house.

kat von d's wonderland.

miami throwback.

when the rain makes my head ache and my heart heavy, these are the beautiful little joys in life at the moment:

× listening to teenage-y nostalgia music.

× dancing on the benches at a packed and sweaty bar.

× talking to someone with the same taste in music, movies and books.

× the internet.

× streaming let’s dance from sweden and cry out of pride over stina.

× saffron cocktails.

× how at least 5 people tagged me in the corgi races video. <3

× shopping more clothes than i need/should, no shame.

× get out!!! (will make a separate post about this)

× never seeing your roomies, but when you do, it’s all fun and nice and laughy.

× skype sessions with important people in other countries.

× wine, pupusas and dancing with a bestie.

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one photo every hour. july.

 

mao

fina grejer just nu att komma ihåg. speciellt nu när det regnar och jag blir lite deppad och sånt är svårt att minnas.

thoughts from a tired thursday heart.

wishing you a wonderful weekend.

i’m so exhausted right now. maybe bad sleep, sun, warm, stale air, something something. but all is well. i’m good, but looking forward to sleep in a little this weekend. and maybe be outside a little, before the massive rain comes back and stays at least the entire next week. not looking forward.

i’m reading news about trump and how he wants to change the visa rules. i’m angry, sad, tired. but then just shrugging. whatever, it’ll be fine, and whatever’s meant to happen will.

i’m off to see get out now. i’m so excited. might tell you about it later. dinner in the mall for once and catchup with siri (is it still a catchup if you meet several times a week and talk every day? hmm).

slowly but surely getting small peeks into the jungle that is american healthcare. headache. procrastinating. save it for later. i wait with putting my lamps on, because my world feels more quiet when i let it be dark for a little longer.

i scroll through hundreds of instagram posts, mornings turn to night and sometimes nothing makes an impression, while at other times i need to brace myself of all the feelings that are coming at me from all angles.

happy friday. take care of yourselves. <3

summer skies.

 

mao

tankar från en trött torsdag. ha en fin fredag. <3