this week is national eating disorder awareness week.
i feel like i want to and/or need to talk about this. both for me and for other people. this blog is mostly about happy stuff and i try not to talk about anxieties or what’s troubling me very often. but today i really wanted to touch on eating disorders.
for a big part of my life, i’ve struggled with ED. or rather, not so much with food and eating itself in its practical sense of what/when/how much i eat, but eating in connection to body and body image. looking back on my life—sure, i have had periods of over/undereating, but 90% of my struggle has been with the way i see and experience my body rather than food itself.
i’m not gonna go into the reasons and details of the causes behind it, but it’s definitely something i’ve experienced through my family and this in combination with other problems linked to self-harm and anxiety triggered these thoughts even more and anchored them deeply.
in the past recent years (or maybe even as short as months?), i’ve felt so much better about this, and i feel like it’s finally fading away. maybe (probably) it’ll never fully go away 100%, but just realizing that the days i hate my body have gone from a majority to a minority to even just a few percent of the time is FANTASTIC and it makes me so happy and hopeful for the future. i can love myself now, and doubt is maybe sprinkled here and there rather than totally blacking out my brain.
ED is everywhere. and the thing about it, like many other mental illnesses, is that you can’t see it from the outside (despite what the stereotype says about excessively skinny/fat people—it can of course take expression in weight changes, but ED is a mental illness, not a physical one). never assume people’s relationship with food or their bodies based on their appearance. both mental and physical health is complex and is a product of correlation of many many different things—body, weight and appearance alone is not enough evidence to assume anything from. you know what? fat people can be healthy, “normal weight” people can be unhealthy, and everyone has their own very personal relationship with their own body.
please don’t assume that it’s a compliment to say that someone has lost weight. many times it might be, but assuming without knowing is just enforcing ideals and normas that not everyone (maybe not even a majority of people) conform to. stop fatshaming. stop foodshaming. stop assuming anything about food, exercise, weight, appearance. this kills lives (big words, but actually true). do whatever feels right. eat whatever you want. exercise however you want (or not at all), but just don’t push your beliefs on others as the only “right” way.
consume media that show a diverse range of people. body-wise, but also generally. i’m not gonna derail and take this to race/class/gender/etc, but i believe representation in every aspect leads to happy and tolerant worldviews and a greater well-being in society as a whole.
for me personally, having unfollowed for example instagram accounts focused on weightloss and instead filling my feed with bodypositive accounts and representation of bodies of all range has helped me so much. i don’t even have to actively participate in this (because i don’t), but just seeing it and knowing there’s a real world with real people out there, rather than a world in which only photoshopped size 2 models exist, is warming, comforting and strengthens me in myself every day.
those are my thoughts for the day (and for this whole week. and beyond.) xx. much love.
det är national eating disorder awareness week här den här veckan. här är några av mina tankar när det kommer till ätstörningar och kroppsuppfattning. hoppas ni orkar läsa fast jag inte ens orkar översätta … sorry. vet ju att ni pratar engelska dock? puss, pepp och all kärlek.